Madness…#343

Cemetery Angels

Madness…#343

Hatred –
An unwanted Soul –
At birth cast away –
Scared and burdened with emotional wounds throughout its journey on earth.  Never knowing the touch of a mother’s hand, no words of I love you, one child was showered with love, the other the mother could not stand. All of the tomorrows’ the path long and steep; it searched a lifetime to asking why did the mothers’ anger run so deep.  A lifetime of sadness, the hate clear; the mother was spiteful. 
 The moment the mother was laid in the ground.  Truth in its abandonment never found, this abused Soul tries to remember that understanding and unhappiness are closely bound.  Band from seeing her mother in those last precious days, lies told many things stole.  The soul now grown did not want her possessions, she hoped to hear her say the words, I love you, but it was too late.  To the end the mother held on to her hate.
When anger and depression fuse together, they give birth to madness.  Loathing emotions born out of the pits of darkness holds an emptiness and void that can never find contentment.  Madness thinks of death, is in harmony with Stillness.  It feels pain, lives in blackness,  hopes for nothing; survives as its opponent living life be aware-its toxic and filled with madness.


©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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Why are we leaving it up to the children?…#342

Image result for government images free
A Free America

Why are we leaving it up to the children?

Do you know your country, or do you only

Know what you are told by the media, or

Local gossip?  Everyone of color has been

Discriminate against, the whites have yet

To understand that they are privileged.

The status of your existence is unimportant

If you are poor and white, you still have

Priviledge over anyone of color.  You live

In America and you think that you are free!

Silence is our words, the stories we tell

Are not true; they are made up of all that

We wish to be.  The dead of the past are

All hero’s and we sing the praises of their

Names and their conquest.  Silence our words

For they are only half truths. 

We continue with our lives as if we know

Where we are going and what we are doing,

But do we?  Were we meant to be ruled by

A group of people that are out for themselves

Only?  They rule over all of the people.  Yes,

We voted them in, do we even look at who we

Put into office?  Are they fit to be an official?

Of the United States of America?  What is

Their personal life that will start the question

As to how they will act in their government

Life.

We, the people of our generation are lost, we

Have let the government get too far into this

Mockery.  These people we elect are in the game

For themselves and do no care about the people. 

They do not think about the children of today or

Of those that will be born tomorrow.  Will they

Have a tomorrow? Or will America turn into a

Third world country?  Will our farm lands be

Baron waste lands?

The land of the free and the home of the brave,

Will be a thing of the past.  Hopefully, someone

Will remember as there will be no books to read,

There will be no memorials to see, no places to

Visit with the family.  Those who still fight for

Freedom will do so underground.  They will be

Called the enemy, and they will be treated as

Criminals. 

There will be no government, but there will still

Be the fine places for the politicians to rule from,

And they will still live in the finest homes, their

Children will not be hungry.  Yours will.  Our

Military will be those who guard the officials and

Keep in line the people; keep the peace so to speak.

The people will live on little as the government will

Take the largest portion of your hard earned money.

Your children will go hungry!

You will live in unawareness, you will believe that

The present is all there is, you will be passive in

All things.  Yet, there will still be those few who

Believe in what America once stood for, they will

Be the ones who continue to see it as a free nation.

They will fight to live in a nation that is for the

People, by the people.  These Fighters for freedom

Will never go away, you the Government will not

Sleep at night for you will be Afraid that the

 “Freedom Fighters” will come to Take back their

Country.

It is time that you, as adults stand up and fight for

Your children.  Leave them a government that is by the

People, and for the people.  You cannot bring back the

Books that have been band, you cannot bring back the

Statues, the many memorials torn down, you cannot

Bring back the land that has been desecrated.  But,

You can see that they have a government that will

Have the people In their sights when voting on issues

Of importance.

It is time to vote in decent human beings, those who

Truly believe in a free nation.  Let’s, start at home,

Bring into the lives of our children a freedom that they

Will pass down to their children.  It is not about us,

Those that will not be here to know that they are free.

It is about the children, those unborn that will inherited

This land called America.

©elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

I have waited all of my life, where are you?…#341

Image result for artwork waiting on the shore




I have waited all of my life, where are you?
I have watched many moons go by, seen the
Seasons change outside my window.  I have
seen the Tulips bloom in spring, the wild flowers
scatter themselves among the tall grasses and
the young bushes trying to live. 
I watched the sparkle of campfires and fireplaces,
watched my body go from firm youthful skin to
wrinkles that I do not recognize, still I wait for you. 
Time does exist, lingers in light, darkness, the glow
of a fire in fall, I picture the boats bringing you to
me from the other side of the world, from the island
that is yours alone, I wait for you.
Now, it is time for me to stop my watch and wait,
time for me to turn the page away from dreaming
to reality, you will not come and rescue me from
the life that I have lived.  I have stop searching the
horizon, do not look for me, for I shall already be
dead. 
The winds of time passes through life, my heart has
taken roots on many shores.  It was not destined
for me to have love, it is too late, I have no more
tomorrows.  I am the flower whose petals have
blown away in the winds of spring, but, I do hope
that I am remembered when the snow falls.       



©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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A Passage into Madness: A State of Frenzied Activity: Johnson-Murphree, Elizabeth Ann: 9781688948990: Amazon.com: Books

A Passage into Madness: A State of Frenzied Activity

Love and Forgiveness…#340

Art by Elizabeth Ann Johnson-Murphree

The hospital room has become a sanctuary of darkness and light.  My Angels are living here with me during every sleeping and waking moment.  Their love and kindness are teaching me patience; the pain cleans my soul showing me the way.

I do believe that their light shines upon me.  They also with the pills made available takes me from the darkness and pain, the pain is leaving me with a certain wisdom that I have never known before.  Maybe this road that I must now travel is a blessing in disguise.  Bone cancer, will do this to one!  One where I can see the truth and bring it to others in my writing.

If this newly found wisdom brings me closer to home, it will all be worth it.  My Dixie is another Angel in my life, so loving never meets a stranger, never mad always happy and she loves her mama.  When you are looking death in the face, you either embrace it or try to hide it.  I am trying to be open to this new chapter in my life and share it with all who will read my blog.  It is hard to explain how beautiful life can be if you remove yourself from toxic “things”.  Love and forgiveness is truly the right path to journey upon.  I will continue to write my fiction, to create my poetry and prose.  Please visit often.    EAJM

Broken Bones and Tainted Blood…#339

My screams are silent - 

Instant mad insanity -
Scattered - 
Crushed - 
 Tainted -  
Misery at it's worse,
mind open to emotional 
torture, screams wailing
bringing self, and  the mind 

to unthinkable thoughts.
Paranoid  scenes, unknown people.
Unknown, unbelievable actions.
Mind searched for a way out.
Fear begins within, and I am now 

a hostage in this place of misery?
A room with no way out?

My back is broken, a clean break,

that snapped like a  dry twig in

the fall.
Something grips my soul
The hospital bed is spinning
Covers flying in all directions
the cup of ice water finds my 
ridged face
Is death cold?
I hear trombones playing soulful 

music  in the distance,
Now it is all returning to my normal.
Have I hit my head once too often, 

have  I seen the scattering of blood
I questioned my misery, lying there 

on the cold damp tile,
Have I finally gone mad?

©july,2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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Days Gone By…#338

We were poor, but the world of a child knows no rich 
or poor.   My daddy was a Sharecropper, my mother 
worked in the cotton mill making thread, Ma who was
 well into her eighties crochet doilies, my sister was 
going to marry a young soldier, and me…I ran barefoot  
in the cotton fields and roamed the caves in the bluffs
 of Burleson Mountain near our house.

My heart sometimes aches for those times, the tarpaper 
shack, the little white church on the mountain; and the 
innocent days of yesteryear.  They are all gone now, 
only I remain with the memory of those long ago days. 
However, I find that I can return at any time and stay as 
long as I want.  Memories never grow old.

©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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The Empty Pine Box…#337

[Fighting with Words, Poetry or Prose are My Weapons.]  EAJM

The Empty Pine Box…#337
Horror haunted- trying to lay out one’s days – schedules
Keeping relentless. Isolated yet fearless, in this desert land
Called Cancer -"Oh God!" I say, "Object of evil – the devil!
I tell this soul with sorrow laden if, with the angels of healing
Protect me in this desert land called Cancer –
I walk on the black sands of time, unbroken in mind but sound
 In spirit.  Take this loneliness from my heart, keep evil from my
Soul.  Protect me in this desert land called Cancer –
I dream of demons, shadows surround me, am I protected?
It is in the night that I feel weak and weary.  It is the waking
That I find myself drenched with sweat.  Was there someone
Rhythmically shaking me awake.  Protect me in this desert land
Called Cancer –
The box in the corner, a pine box, empty.  Without fear, I face
My terror; my heart pounds in my chest.  I pray many times a
Day, my soul grows stronger.  The shadows are gone, only the
Drenching of my cloths give way to the nightmare.  I whisper,
“Please, no more”.  Protect me in this desert land
Called Cancer –
I believe that I hear the Black Crows calling outside my window.
It is a myth that they bring death, I close my ears to the sounds
Of the Ravens.  Birds or Beast, they break the confines of my soul
And I know they too will be gone soon.  I have wheeled myself
In front of my terror, depressing, frightening, evil. 
Protect me in this desert land called Cancer –

Author’s Books…

©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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Fear and Pain, a Gift…#336

 
It is through what I call a “brain fog” that I create “Fear and Pain, a Gift”.  I try to gather and put upon paper my thoughts.  I have stopped thinking of a day, one, two etc.; they run together and get in the way of what I want to say.  I send immense love to all of you, so many have kept me in their thoughts, as I have you.  You will never know how precious your prayers are to me.  EAJM

Fear and Pain, a Gift  


What is growing old all about?
It is not a new question for me,
I have given thought to the
Subject since I was young. 
Unloved by my mother, though
I always loved her dearly; she
Was emotionally absent in my
Life; as was my daddy in many
Ways.  So, at the start of this
Flight into the Imagination, the
Answer was Simple.  I would die
Very young!
II.
I did not want to be alone and
Unloved, dying young would
Prevent my fears from coming
Into the light of day; where I
Must face them.  Afraid to face
The truth, afraid to face reality. 
I provided the shell that would
Protect me.  I would not give into
My fears, and never have been
Afraid to die.
III.
Then at a very young age, I was
Married and gave birth to my
First daughter.  I was about to
Take a journey that would give
Me joy, unconditional love.  As
Each day passed I felt the strength
Of a “Warrior”, I was given the
Responsibility to take care of my
Child.  Strength, not decay. Each
Nerve in my body strung with a
Fierce message that it was not in
My youth that I dreamed it would
Be!  The golden days lay within
The realm of being a good mother,
As good as it could be, from day
Break to sunsets glow.
IV.
I soon looked at the world in a
Different light, my heart both wept
And shoved the fullness of the past,
Those years would lay dormant.  If
Not but for awhile!  I was never
Young, I lived in the hot prison of the
Present with a bruised mind and
Body.  What I felt deep within my
Heart would fester and grow, but it
Would never be a part of my being
A mother.  Masked emotion would
Be my past, present, and future.
V.
To suffer was the plan, not one from
Me but from as higher power.  I am
But a hollow ghost, a phantom of one
Who was given the greatest duty? 
The last stage is not one in pain and
Agony, but that of one that has been lifted
Toward the Heavens and on Earth has been
Given the greatest gift of them all, five
Wonderful souls, my children and being
Their mother.  Five brilliant children who
Love me unconditionally. I and my love
For them keeps me moving forward.

Day 2…#335

The first cancer treatment is a day behind me.  Today is worse than yesterday.  Weak, shaky, slight headache.  “Bad” blood cells have increased within one week from 70% to 80%, that window of 20% looks increasingly that it is going in the wrong direction.  Chemo is aggressive; I have 4 days to get to feeling better before the next round.  I have a wonderful physician, best in Wisconsin.  No, I have not given up…my body is at war at the moment.  Short note, but it’s about all I can manage today.  This brain fog I am in leaves no room for creating; however, I may try to post some older works.  The book has been set aside for now as well.  Have a great week, peace and praise to all of you.

EAJM   

May 28, 2021…#334

Dear Followers and Readers, it would seem that over the past few months that I have been on the downside of health.  I have been in the hospital twice, and I am still fighting a health problem.  I just had my third fall, and I was in the hospital at the time.  This, of course led to a barrage of test.  The results more test than I care to count.  The final diagnosis on Thursday May 27 was bone cancer.  Needless to say my life has done a flip-flop and many adjustments must be made; over the next five months I will undergo chemotherapy, and most knows what that does to the body.  I am permanently over those months unable to walk without assistance; a wheelchair will allow me to move about without falling.  This plan may have a good outlook, walk alone, or I will have to continue with this mode of getting around.  My immune system is gone; therefore, I have to monitor my visitors.  I will continue to work on the blog when possible; since life for me is confined I may get more done that first thought.  I have a work of fiction that I want to complete.  I will stay busy and fight with all I have to beat the odds and the seven year life span that the doctors have said I have to live.  I want to thank you for your continued support and hope you will continue to stop by to see any new entries.

All my love and adoration,

EAJM