You Cannot Help or Please a Toxic Person…#255

Image result for Ghandi on toxic people

During the first 53 years of my life I believed that I did not have a single toxic individual in my life.  I spent my life bending over backwards to please parents, siblings and friends.  During this past year the pandemic has brought out the toxicity in many people, I had patience; I have shown my love and given all I could to the cause.  Sanity!

In 2021, I began to take assessment of how I had lived my life, I found that the toxic numbers were few; most of the toxic individuals were gone, died out over the years.   Throughout the years, I gave them a piece of my life without expectations.  However, one-way relationships are mostly tiring.  I have come to realize that toxic people do not want your opinion or advice; they wanted someone who would listen to their toxic whining that only they could control. 

Once that toxic people have complained, nitpick, and wasted your time over things you know they will never change, they do not need you until the next time they need attention.   When we realize that it’s time to cut ties, a realization that it may be time to change direction comes to light.  Toxic people are dangerous. They are dangerous to your inner peace and they’re dangerous to our own self-esteem.  My own guidelines or “red flags” that someone in your life is toxic are simple; my fault is that I did not realize how it has been affecting me for most of my life.

I find that toxic people thrive on drama. It gets them sympathy and it gets them attention.  Toxic people are obsessed with themselves and think only of their own feelings and opinions, showing little to no concern for others.   Toxic people are so insecure that they cannot tolerate the idea of being wrong.  They always have someone else to blame for their problems and are happy to blame anyone and everyone when things go wrong.

Look to the people within your support network that do lift you up, and show up when things get hard. Support the people who care for you instead of wasting your time, effort and energy on people who bring you down.  Toxic people are like cancerous growths. They spread until they affect every aspect of our lives, and they destroy us if we don’t cut them out.

Also making sure they are completely blocked from contacting you through everything and anyone who may be known to you both. Working on you, on inward love and setting yourself boundaries and a list of expected behaviors from others to protect yourself. Trust your gut. Remember that toxic people never change; they simply learn new was to manipulate you and to suck you back into the problem which they truly do not want to solve. 

EAJM

13 thoughts on “You Cannot Help or Please a Toxic Person…#255

  1. ♡ I largely agree with this EveryOne and also THINK!!! it’s worth pointing out and sharing a view I hold; when I point at others three fingers are pointing at me asking me what my contribution is to, for example, a “toxic” dynamic and I remind myself that, indeed, “it does take two to tango” and “lessons” may well be learned from, for example, our “toxic” interactions

    …♡♡♡…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree in some ways. However, this was a forgive and let go situation. A life time of my sisters entitlement attitude. She did not let me know my mother was sick until hours before she died (I live 900 miles away). When she did tell me, I called the hospital and she had told staff that I was to not talk to my mother. She was only happy and spoke to me when I signed my portion of the estate over to her. I was tired of dealing with screaming and crying that I did not deserve anything. I visited my mother twice a year, so absence was not the reason. She did not speak to me for nine years, and I called her. Then for the past 15 years she has shut me out off and on two or three years at a time. I always did the calling. This last time, I gave up. I cannot listen to the entitlement whining any longer. Believe me, I tried for 64 years…what is the cut off age. I loved your comment, please stop by again. E.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ♡ As a Fellow USE (Ultra Sensitive Empath) I Totally Hear YOU!!! and SomeTimes We Do Desire to Escape The OverCareTaking without becoming RESENTFUL!!! and Beating OurSelves Up; so, This, I Say to YOU!!! Forgive YOURSELF!!! Forgive Others and Set YOUR!!! Boundaries then Gently, if necessary, AGGRESSIVELY!!! Assert Said Boundaries in The Absence of Guilt, Shame and Embarrassment if that Resonates with YOU!!! it works for Me especially with Parents and Other Authorities

    …♡♡♡…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. ♡ I Believe Our InterActions ARE Over Elizabeth; personally I THINK!!! it’s Rude to Delete Comments without explaining why, Goodbye and ALL The Best

    …♡♡♡…

    Like

    1. Yernasia, , I am sorry you believe that I did not delete your comments. I just got this one, and as far back as I can see I have answered them all which was both on the 8th of January. I have never in the 15 years of blogging not answered a question, good or bad, Here is all that I have gotten from you, please accept my apology if I have offend you. E.

      Elizabeth Ann Johnson-Murphree
      JANUARY 8, 2021 AT 6:08 AM EDIT
      I agree in some ways. However, this was a forgive and let go situation. A life time of my sisters entitlement attitude. She did not let me know my mother was sick until hours before she died (I live 900 miles away). When she did tell me, I called the hospital and she had told staff that I was to not talk to my mother. She was only happy and spoke to me when I signed my portion of the estate over to her. I was tired of dealing with screaming and crying that I did not deserve anything. I visited my mother twice a year, so absence was not the reason. She did not speak to me for nine years, and I called her. Then for the past 15 years she has shut me out off and on two or three years at a time. I always did the calling. This last time, I gave up. I cannot listen to the entitlement whining any longer. Believe me, I tried for 64 years…what is the cut off age. I loved your comment, please stop by again. E.
      JANUARY 8, 2021 AT 8:03 AM EDIT
      ♡ As a Fellow USE (Ultra Sensitive Empath) I Totally Hear YOU!!! and SomeTimes We Do Desire to Escape The OverCareTaking without becoming RESENTFUL!!! and Beating OurSelves Up; so, This, I Say to YOU!!! Forgive YOURSELF!!! Forgive Others and Set YOUR!!! Boundaries then Gently, if necessary, AGGRESSIVELY!!! Assert Said Boundaries in The Absence of Guilt, Shame and Embarrassment if that Resonates with YOU!!! it works for Me especially with Parents and Other Authorities
      …♡♡♡…
      JANUARY 8, 2021 AT 3:22 PM EDIT
      Thank you, a gentle voice in the storm. I wrote my opinion….now it is put away. E.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so true. However, having once been in what I have come to appreciate – decades later – was an abusive relationship with someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder, it is not always easy. One thing they do, be it conscious or sub-conscious – is to remove your support network of friends and relatives. It is so subtle. You don’t realise it’s happening. You walk on eggshells feeling in the wrong yourself all the time. ISomething so far I have been unable to write about.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s