December 10th

C.R. Murphree is an educator, Young Adult Novelist, and an advocate and speaker for Mental Health, he is passionate about helping people with depression and anxiety by sharing my own insights and experiences. He is a first time blogger and his post are written from the heart. You can follow his blog at:
https://apieceofmymind.fitness.blog

Thoughts and Writings on Mental Health

“My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”

-Rodney Dangerfield

My dad called me on the phone. It was the first time I’d spoken to him in six months. “I need to ask you something,” he said. His voice always made my heart rate go up.

“What’s that?” I asked. I did not want to talk to him.

He got to the point, which was his way, never any meaningful conversation. “I’m thinking about taking myself off of dialysis. I’ll be dead in a week. What do you think I should do?”

My dad has always had health problems, at least most of the time I knew him. When I was in tenth grade, he had bypass surgery. When I got home from boot camp at nineteen, he was getting his kidneys out. He had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, alcoholism…

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Mental Health and Education

Another outstanding post from C.R. Murphree, Special Education, Mental Health advocate, Young Adult Author. Thank you Chuck. E.

Thoughts and Writings on Mental Health

The summer of 2004 I received a call from my best friend to pick him up from the hospital. He had been in the psychiatric unit for about a week for suicidal ideation. When I arrived he hugged me, had a smile on his face, and then wanted to show me around. I was surprised that I could come into where he was staying. I was introduced to a couple of staff members and a patient that he had gotten to know. I don’t remember her name, but I do remember her blond hair, pale round face, rectangle glasses, and how exhausted she looked. Her slumped shoulders, dark circles under her eyes, and defeated posture has been stained in my mind ever since. And she was a teacher. 

At the time, I wasn’t an educator. So, with my ignorance I remember thinking, “What is a teacher doing in the psychiatric…

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What Depression Feels Like To Me

Another Reblog on Mental Health from C.R. Murphree he teaches Special Education, is an advocate on Student Rights, speaker on Mental Health and he is a Young Adult Novelist.

Thoughts and Writings on Mental Health

I call depression my “Dark Little Friend” or “My Dark Little Bastard” depending on how bad it happens to be at that moment. I think I had to name it for it to be real. Naming it helped me accept it and become friends with it. To me, depression is like a moist fog that clogs my brain. It makes all thought disoriented and my feelings become hard to navigate. Depression is going to bed feeling good and then waking up at two in the morning feeling like your head is sewn to the pillow. When I come to the realization that my dark little friend has arrived and the hours, days, or weeks to come will be filled with self-doubt, a sense of being a worthless piece of shit, and insomnia, I want to withdraw in a deep hole or take a long walk in the woods and hide…

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Reflections on Guilt

Mental Health Issues – Reflecting on guilt…new post by C.R. Murphree

Thoughts and Writings on Mental Health

“The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you’d ever left behind riding on your shoulders.”

-Paolo Bacigalupi, The Drowned Cities

The feeling of guilt should be added to the five stages of grieving. It’s an extremely powerful and true feeling that attacks your soul. It’s the desperation of wanting to die because you think you were the cause of the person’s death that you lost, which can be much more intense than the other five stages. The guilt of living, of being a survivor is strange to me. Shouldn’t we want to live? Living is an accomplishment. I’m not talking about longevity as much as quality. To live a long life that is not fulfilling is tragic.

There is guilt to surviving when you know the person that died had the same pain as you, the darkness and dreariness that depression so often…

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Grappling In The Dark

Another mental health message/post from C.R. Murphree, mental health advocate, mental health speaker, educator, young adult novelist.

Thoughts and Writings on Mental Health

Grappling In The Dark

“Depression is the inability to construct a future.”

-Rollo May

Does anyone really know what to do with depression? When I fell into that darkness at age thirty, I had a doctor who immediately said, “Let’s put you on medication.” Certainly I was desperate, and I was sinking into a dark hole that I didn’t anticipate the depths that depression would take me to, so I downed the pills without much thought. The doctor did not mention therapy to me, so with my ignorance of depression I figured taking the tiny pill would be the cure all for my gloom. It wasn’t. In fact, it made my depression worse and all I could think about was killing myself and trying like hell to hang on. I fought my mind daily not to fall further but the fighting made me weaker. I lost a job and almost…

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Forgiveness

This re-blog is from Son, author of young adult novels and educator, his blog, I believe will be helpful to those who read. They will understand that they are not alone, many carry a burden of physical and emotional abuse. E.

Thoughts and Writings on Mental Health

ForgivenessBrings Hope

Like many men in their forties, and many men in general, a couple of years ago I had to take a step back and look deep within. I was really just trying to make sense of my life, mostly my depression and anxiety, and why I am the way I am. What happened along the way to cause this darkness? Why me? It wasn’t out of self pity that I asked these questions. I have always considered myself fortunate. I have always been healthy, have good friends, travel and life experiences, a family who mostly loves me, and a wife that would rather carry the burden of my demons than for me to have them myself. That’s real love, when you want your partner’s pain so they can find their smile. That’s sacrifice! Of course, I would do the same for her, and my reply when she…

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