The homeless cannot sleep on winter’s cold nights, they gather around a burning barrel, men, women and children, forgotten, shattered and despised; in the distance a baby cries. Begging for food, living on the streets, no jobs to be found, families no longer sound. Government talks end up in contradictions, poverty is the prediction. The spirit freezes, fruit of labors rot, life squeezes and struggles persist, bad luck smothering heart and soul, hope ceases to exist. Shifting winds turn into storms, will the world grow wiser, or will it be humbled and beaten back into servility? Trust departed, a cardboard box in the streets is where the homeless make their beds, hope disappears and the future appears dead.
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Somewhere outside everyone’s door is the gateway to the city of doom; the door leads to another sphere of everlasting pain, mentally and physically. If you walk willingly, and confident you may be able to handle the tragedy waiting. Tucked deep inside your confidence is fear; within the fear are secret things, distrust and lies.
The darkness is the most evil; or a blood red moon framed by the stars. Strange tongues are heard frightful and shrill, filled with anger. Fear fills souls, even the depths of hell may refuse them and they will be lost forever in the darkness.
Is there hope in death, will there be memories of the earth of the lives that remain behind? Souls cry loudly, their tears flow like the waterfalls of time. Will there be rebirth, blaspheming is terrible in the wailing of fate.
A bitter flood rushes the consciousness of nearing doom. It is in darkness that some are given a second chance to feel the love of God upon their faces. If they refuse the ground breaks from beneath the feet of lost souls, they sink into a senseless dark dreadful shore.
During the first 53 years of my life I believed that I did not have a single toxic individual in my life. I spent my life bending over backwards to please parents, siblings and friends. During this past year the pandemic has brought out the toxicity in many people, I had patience; I have shown my love and given all I could to the cause. Sanity!
In 2021, I began to take assessment of how I had lived my life, I found that the toxic numbers were few; most of the toxic individuals were gone, died out over the years. Throughout the years, I gave them a piece of my life without expectations. However, one-way relationships are mostly tiring. I have come to realize that toxic people do not want your opinion or advice; they wanted someone who would listen to their toxic whining that only they could control.
Once that toxic people have complained, nitpick, and wasted your time over things you know they will never change, they do not need you until the next time they need attention. When we realize that it’s time to cut ties, a realization that it may be time to change direction comes to light. Toxic people are dangerous. They are dangerous to your inner peace and they’re dangerous to our own self-esteem. My own guidelines or “red flags” that someone in your life is toxic are simple; my fault is that I did not realize how it has been affecting me for most of my life.
I find that toxic people thrive on drama. It gets them sympathy and it gets them attention. Toxic people are obsessed with themselves and think only of their own feelings and opinions, showing little to no concern for others. Toxic people are so insecure that they cannot tolerate the idea of being wrong. They always have someone else to blame for their problems and are happy to blame anyone and everyone when things go wrong.
Look to the people within your support network that do lift you up, and show up when things get hard. Support the people who care for you instead of wasting your time, effort and energy on people who bring you down. Toxic people are like cancerous growths. They spread until they affect every aspect of our lives, and they destroy us if we don’t cut them out.
Also making sure they are completely blocked from contacting you through everything and anyone who may be known to you both. Working on you, on inward love and setting yourself boundaries and a list of expected behaviors from others to protect yourself. Trust your gut. Remember that toxic people never change; they simply learn new was to manipulate you and to suck you back into the problem which they truly do not want to solve.
Each year it comes, we hope, because for some it doesn’t, New Years Eve. Over my lifetime I have seen the traditions, and practiced some (That damn ball dropping is a sight to be seen), and have heard many state their resolutions, hoping the new year will bring them a new life, a new start, […]
I woke with the need to leave the last post of 2020; it has been a cruel year.
I wanted to start this year, with my need to return to exercising, I have not done more than a few steps whether the weather was good or bad, at present in Wisconsin we have had a new snow fall. So, I spent thirty-minutes on the treadmill. A small amount of time, however, for someone who has not been exercising that is quite a bit. In the building where I live they have a small fitness room. No, tiny, a treadmill and two exercise bikes fill the space. I remember when I came here eight years ago, a healthier me, I went to a gym and there was no need to utilize the space. This past year the “manager”, place signage on certain areas. One day I past the room and there on the door was a sign “FITNESS CENTER’”, I open the door, nope there was not another door leading to bigger and better equipment, just the tiny room. A source of humor for everyone, I believe that I may be the only one who uses the equipment. That was where my thoughts returned at 7:30 AM when I opened a book b Anne LaMotte and begin to walk. Age tried to kill this body in 2020, and being shut in for nine months would have killed the mind; but there was enough to write about to keep me going. I begin a battering of tests due to health matters; this can make for a difficult time mentally and physically.
It was a year of lies and controversy.
The possibility of a biblical apocalypse came upon us when “Locust” hit Africa. I expected it in the US but I guess it was not our time. Somewhere among several countries, fires were determined to destroy great masses of land. President Donald Trump was impeached! Covid-19 hit the US, and toilet paper begins to either be removed by stores or customers were hoarding. I do not know where the rumor that Covid gave one diarrhea, but a panic cleaned the store shelves of all paper products. I believe they were fighting over it in Wal-Mart. Let’s not forget the talk of “Demon Sperm”! Next, disinfectant, wipes, sanitizer could not be found, again hoarding. President Trump wanted to ban Tic Toc, but his life was spent on Twitter. If it could happen it did.
I am ready for 2020 to end; I fought health issues and survived a couple of serious surgeries. I am on the mend, I hope, and looking forward to 2021. I lost my four-legged companion, Mason; the hole in my heart will never fully mend. Yet, I have hopes for the future. I have a new pup coming into my life in January 2021; she will not take the place of my darling Mason. I hope she and I will become good friends, and I hope the love will grow. I want to finish a book I have started (second year), become healthy and enjoy my family and the country that I live in; I want to see Covid as a dim thought.
Have a great New Years Eve…be safe and my you all go into the new years with hope.