During the first 53 years of my life I believed that I did not have a single toxic individual in my life. I spent my life bending over backwards to please parents, siblings and friends. During this past year the pandemic has brought out the toxicity in many people, I had patience; I have shown my love and given all I could to the cause. Sanity!
In 2021, I began to take assessment of how I had lived my life, I found that the toxic numbers were few; most of the toxic individuals were gone, died out over the years. Throughout the years, I gave them a piece of my life without expectations. However, one-way relationships are mostly tiring. I have come to realize that toxic people do not want your opinion or advice; they wanted someone who would listen to their toxic whining that only they could control.
Once that toxic people have complained, nitpick, and wasted your time over things you know they will never change, they do not need you until the next time they need attention. When we realize that it’s time to cut ties, a realization that it may be time to change direction comes to light. Toxic people are dangerous. They are dangerous to your inner peace and they’re dangerous to our own self-esteem. My own guidelines or “red flags” that someone in your life is toxic are simple; my fault is that I did not realize how it has been affecting me for most of my life.
I find that toxic people thrive on drama. It gets them sympathy and it gets them attention. Toxic people are obsessed with themselves and think only of their own feelings and opinions, showing little to no concern for others. Toxic people are so insecure that they cannot tolerate the idea of being wrong. They always have someone else to blame for their problems and are happy to blame anyone and everyone when things go wrong.
Look to the people within your support network that do lift you up, and show up when things get hard. Support the people who care for you instead of wasting your time, effort and energy on people who bring you down. Toxic people are like cancerous growths. They spread until they affect every aspect of our lives, and they destroy us if we don’t cut them out.
Also making sure they are completely blocked from contacting you through everything and anyone who may be known to you both. Working on you, on inward love and setting yourself boundaries and a list of expected behaviors from others to protect yourself. Trust your gut. Remember that toxic people never change; they simply learn new was to manipulate you and to suck you back into the problem which they truly do not want to solve.